So Sam has this whale bath toy that is also a shape sorter. And being the random person that I am, started wondering how frustrating that toy would be if the shapes could only be taken out of the whale every three days (a la Jonah of the Old Testament)?
Then, of course, I started thinking about other children's toys that could be made very realistic, totally inappropriate, but more realistic. Like that scene in Fight Club where they talk about how calm the cartoon people on the emergency card are (:30-:60 on the clip I linked)
So starting with the Jonah shape-sorter, here are some other ideas I had for "more realistic" children's toys. As far as toys about Biblical stories go, maybe people wouldn't grow up thinking they're fairy tales and myths if the way we told the story was more accurate.
Noah's Ark: Complete with a cacophony of sounds that you can't turn off, even if you remove the batteries. Also comes with a supply of animal crap, hay, and cattle brands.
Police car shaped scooter: Comes with radar gun and a list of common speeding excuses. The Portland, Oregon version is already egged, and has a list of anarchist-owned businesses you are not allowed to enter.
Big Construction related toys (dump truck, etc.): are all the same. The little plastic driver inside simply says "F***" every time you touch it.
Speed Boat: This one works exactly like the one you had as a kid, except it costs you $5000 every time you take it out to play with it.
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