A year off to think (part the second)

So in the summer of 2003, I packed up my teaching stuff for the first time and left for a 2 1/2 week solo trip to Europe (that's a whole post of its own).   When I returned, we had about two weeks to pack up our two separate apartments and haul it across the country.  We were in a bit of a hurry because we still had not heard if our teaching licenses had transferred so we had no jobs.

A very long story short, we were both unemployed until November when I found a full time job teaching elementary general music grade 3-5.  I spent most of that year surviving on lesson plans and games I acquired during student teaching (thank God for Eileen Treusch....), and learning about the still very much segregated city of Chicago.  In December, Tyson was found by a "headhunter" (recruiter) for Chicago Public Schools.  The recruiter (a balding Italian man who interviewed us at a restaurant in Cicero over a plate of lasagna....you can't make this stuff up....) guaranteed Tyson a job as a regular band teacher after he worked that year as a building sub, a position we had never heard of---basically, so many teachers call in sick every day, that the individual buildings actually have to employ full time subs to cover classes.   He recommended me for a full time choir job at a high school, which I started that following September.  My third job in as many years.  I had four beginning choirs of anywhere from 35-45 students, and one class of mostly seniors for Music history/appreciation of about 40, where I was able to develop a decent high-school curriculum and keep my philosophy intact.

What we learned in those two years out in Chicago was this:

1) A majority of primary schools in CPS are K-8, and whether they have music is hit and miss.  There are no ensembles for grades 6-8, generally.  This only applies to neighborhood schools, though, not the magnet or charter schools.

2) Because of the inconsistency of music instruction at the primary level, students do not start ensembles until high school.  Beginning band with 9th grade gang bangers.  Wrap your head around that....

3) Principals have absolute power, private industry style, over their teaching staff.  On the surface, this sounds like a libertarian dream come true.  But what actually happens is this:  If you don't do as you are told, you will find yourself "laid off" regardless of years of experience, effectiveness with the students, accomplishments or progress made. You get "volunteered" for extra duty and not paid for it.  You get suspended without pay for an accusation---even when there are multiple witnesses that contradict the accusation.  You can have all of your fundraising money wiped out because the principal needed it for some other activity. 

4) If the superintendent (Chief Educational Officer, or CEO) doesn't even know all the principals by name, you as a teacher are a nameless statistic and number, as are the kids.  Everything and everyone depends, lives and dies by the paperwork.  Phone logs, lesson plans, discipline, memos, reminders paper paper paper paper paper paper everything (because if you're lucky you have ONE computer per subject department, and if you're REALLY lucky it's hooked up to the internet.  Our music department had one phone to share between the four of us, and it was in my office.  Tyson's entire floor had no phone, they had to go downstairs to the math office). You are a cog in a machine.  Period.

5) To survive in this environment (forget actually being effective), you have to avoid the teachers who have burned out and have nowhere else to go.  You have to mentally shut the kids out at the end of the duty day, because there is so much need you could never hope to come close to meeting it.   Or you have to pick and choose which kids to help, like triage in an emergency room.  Pick and choose based on who you think might make it.

In the end, we decided that if we continued to teach in CPS, we would both quit teaching within a few years, so we both started applying for jobs in the suburbs, around Seattle, and around Portland.  By August (the end of Tyson's second summer at Northwestern, and the end of my first) I had secured a job at a brand new middle school in Longview, WA, and we packed up our things into a moving truck and came home to the Pacific Northwest.

A year off to think. (part 1)

So Tyson has been concerned about my career.  More specifically, he's worried about me following his career around.  So I started reflecting on what I have done in the past ten years, including student teaching...what do I like best, what do I think I do best and and would like to pursue....and so far the conclusion that I've come to is that I'm glad I have this next year off to think about it.

My student teaching started with a part-time internship at Whitman Middle School with a fantastic orchestra teacher named Megan Cleary.  She was, at the time, teaching 6th grade choir, 6th and 7/8 orchestra, then traveling to Ingraham High School for orchestra and mariachi (an after school group).  That spring with her students, I attempted to play cello with the kids, learned how to tune violins REALLY FAST, and got my first exposure to non-traditional curriculum.  During that experience, she said to me "you should do your student teaching with Rich Sumstad over at Nathan Hale.  He does band and choir, and you would probably get along really well."  So the following September, I talked to the guy in the school of education who did all the music teacher placements.   What I found out much much later was this: Rich had worked with a string of student teachers, one every year for the past few years, and he had promised his students he wouldn't have any more for a while.  But my placement person was Rich's high school band director.  So he interviewed me anyway, and let the kids vote on it.  Thankfully, the previous year, they'd had a good experience with the student teacher (who I am now married to...) so between that and Rich's recommendation, the students voted to give me a chance.  (side note: Thanks Tyson, for NOT sucking! Love you!)

Rich had turned a rough high school program (15 kids in band, 15 kids in choir, three piano classes) into one of the most respected schools in the city.  When I was there, he had an award winning vocal jazz group, a concert choir (60 kids) and band (75 kids), two jazz bands, an orchestra (taught by Megan) and an all-auditioned, brand new women's choir of 15, which I directed that spring as a contracted employee of the parent's group.  But what he really emphasized with me (and with Tyson, too, I found out later) was the piano lab.  "We say music is important for all students, but never offer anything besides ensembles.  This is the class that I protect as much as my most select ensemble, because this is the class where we reach the rest of the student body." 

If that philosophy familiar to you Northwestern folks, here's the reason why: Rich's mentor was Steve Morrison at the University of Washington.  Dr. Morrison was one of Bennett Reimer's students.  =)

This student teaching experience shaped my philosophy going into my first job, and was reinforced every place I went after.  And then, of course, it was cemented when I went to Northwestern, and has become my philosophical "hill to die on" in the current educational environment (more on that later).

First job was Ingraham High School. Twenty-two years old, teaching high schoolers.  I would have visitors to the classroom, and watch their confused faces as they tried to figure out which person in the room was the teacher.  I was stopped for my hall pass a couple times, and had my lunch taken away from me by the cafeteria worker because I cut in line (Thank God I remembered to put on my ID badge that day).  But the "kids" were great for the most part, and the parents were incredibly supportive.  I also had a lot of supportive colleagues in the building, and Tyson, who Saved. My. Ass. with regards to marching band. ("Band camp?" I said.  Tyson says "Yeah, and do you have drill paper?" Me: "What's that?" *facepalm*----marching band is the ONE place SPU really dropped the ball for us music ed people.  One professor in ONE class said "if you want to know about marching band, come see me and I'll give you a show that will make your principal happy."  That was the extent of our instruction....)

But despite the high learning curve, and being very close in age to the students, I felt I made a LOT of progress in one year, and was already plotting how to take over the top spot in the district for choir.  Then I got my RIF notice.  After crying (a lot), and students writing angry letters to the administration and district, Tyson says to me "I want to go to Northwestern, take some trumpet lessons from someone in the CSO, but I don't want to go without you."  So I spent that last month or two researching apartments, jobs, how to transfer teaching licenses, etc, and renting a truck for us to move the two of us 2000 miles away from everything and everyone we knew.

*if you have read this far, congratulations! I have to take a break, so stay tuned for the rest of the story, and my conclusions about what to do with the rest of my career.....

So there I was, innocently watching Jon Stewart...

I really enjoy "The Daily Show" and "Colbert Report" but sometimes I don't watch the interviews.  Especially if it's a ditzy actress who is only on there to plug a generic soon-to-be-forgotten movie.   Generally, I like watching the interviews if it's someone interesting (I love it especially when the Daily Show has Bill O'Reilly on....)

So tonight, I'm watching the interview because it happens to be Madeleine Albright, and the last time I remember her being on was during the 2008 presidential primary and in the interview endorsed Hillary Clinton and blasted NCLB for its part in narrowing educational curriculum (although I've seen it more in music, PE, and arts, and she was specifically referring to civics and social studies being de-emphasized, it was gratifying to know that I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE SEEING THIS TREND!) Anyhoo...

She's on the show promoting her new book called "Prague Winter" specifically outlining Czechoslovakia from the Nazi invasion until a few years after the end of the war, 1937-1948.  And while I knew she was an immigrant turned naturalized citizen (thank you Alexandra Pelosi for that amazing documentary you made), I didn't know that she was from Czechoslovakia.

I'm an American mutt.  No doubt about it, with a Scottish/English name (the village of Fife has quite a few Beveridges....it's not as unusual as you think!) most of my family has been in the U.S. long enough that I can't quite claim any particular "ethnicity"---except one.

My great-grandmother was born in Czechoslovakia which makes me an eighth Czech---the largest percentage of my "mutt."  Or so I had been told my whole life.  What I learned tonight, and I'm not sure how I didn't find this out before, is that Czechoslovakia did not exist as a country until 1918, at the end of WWI.  Prior to that, it was a collection of small ethnic regions that were under the control of the Austro-Hungarian empire.   There were three primary regions in the area that became the country of Czechoslovakia: Bohemia, Moravia-Silisia, and Slovakia.  There was also a small region that was part of the country but annexed by the Soviet Union after WWII and now is part of Ukraine.

Here's the part that has blown my mind tonight: My great-grandmother was born in 1903.  Her father immigrated here, established work and a home, then went back for the family.  She came here when she was 11, which would make the year 1914, or the start of WWI.  Czechoslovakia wasn't even a country yet.  So now, without knowing which village they actually came from, I don't know which ethnic group they belonged to.  Where was she really from?  Which language did they speak? Hungarian? German? Czech? Slovak? Could I say that I am actually an eighth ethnically Bohemian (because how cool would THAT be as a musician, hahahaha)?

And really, does it matter?  It doesn't change the fact that they decided to come here---for what reason now, I don't know (my neighbor's family left Germany when the Nazis took over---did my great-great grandfather see the warning signs of WWI? Or was it just about work/opportunity like so many others in that era?). But writing this all down means I might be able to sleep tonight instead of letting my mind stew about it and keep me awake.

Is America's "religion" the military? (Not what you think!)

Before you jump to any conclusions (and yes, the title was designed to do that), this isn't a directly political post.  It's a post about live music, and our society's perceived and actual value of it.

A little background info on those of you who may not know already: I grew up in a Lutheran church.  We used hymnals.  We clap on beat 1 and 3.  Raising hands in the air is allowed, but will get you strange looks, and you'll probably be the only one.   When I started studying music theory in college, I found the Bach chorales we studied to be comforting and familiar because a lot of those chorales are still used in traditional churches.  My high school boyfriend grew up Nazarene and we would argue about what "old-fashioned hymn" meant.  He defined it as tent-revival-1800's-early-1900's, and I would laugh at him.  "Really?  'Old' to you means 100 years? Try FIVE hundred."  In any case, as much as I appreciate a really rocking band with electric bass and drums, sometimes it's also really awesome to hear a much older piece done well, like an organ sonata, being performed in its original context.

But I am also a jazz musician, and a choir director, and probably a bit more open minded about contemporary music in church than your average classically-trained-singer.

As a music teacher, I really do understand why some churches shy away from "classical" style music.  Young people don't listen to it (or it's assumed that they don't), or pastors understand in order for it to be done well, they have to hire someone who is trained.  Some churches can only afford a piano player or organist, some are lucky enough to have a budget to hire actual music directors and choral section leaders.  Some churches rely on volunteers only.  My opinion on this is about the same as non-union symphonies, theaters that pay actors more than the pit musicians, and bar owners who pay the entire band a percentage of the cover (but expect them to bring their own fans and groupies).

Let me put it to you another way: Let's say your talent is working with tools.  You're a very talented carpenter.  Having me ask you to volunteer to do your job for free for the church (which took time, money, and training to hone that innate talent) is an insult.  But maybe you see that your church needs something fixed, and you're willing to donate your time to help out once or twice because you know they don't have the money to pay you.  That's different than the church approaching YOU and asking you to fix things week after week after week for no pay (or worse, expecting you to provide materials as well ALL YEAR LONG).    But for some reason, churches have no problem (or shame) in asking musicians to do this.  "It's your gift" they say. "You should WANT to do it."  Yeah, sure.  I was talented before I went to college, too.  But you want me to do it NOW because I have two degrees in it, and I can do it WELL.  Those degrees and that training wasn't free, people.  No one expects the pastor to work for free (although to be fair, many do it for very little money or work second jobs to support themselves which I also think is unjust).


So now, with all that said, let me get back to my original point....
Historically, if music was your profession, you were somebody's employee (if you wanted to eat, anyhow). You worked for a church, or were sponsored by royalty or the aristocracy.  To a large extent, if you want to be a live performer, that is still largely true today (I know we don't have royalty, but in terms of symphony or full time church gigs, those are often supported by those people with the means to give LOTS of money away, our modern aristocracy....)  However, most pros are freelancers, meaning they piecemeal different gigs together in the hopes that they will make enough to support themselves.  The real danger in being a "freelancer" in this country is really the lack of financial stability and health care (especially health care).  And as many Portland musicians know right now as Brian Tierney lays in the hospital of unprovoked gunshot wounds, those two things are inseparably related.  If you want to be a professional live performer in this country and have conventional health insurance as we know it you have only a few options: 1) Do music part time and hold a non-related day job that provides health insurance. 2) Work as a church music director in a semi-large church that also requires you to sing or play an instrument. Not as a piano player in a small church or as a choral ringer.   3) Teach music in the schools.  And let me tell you, these days there is no guarantee that there's any stability THERE, either.  In 10 years of teaching, I have taught everything K through Community College except orchestra just to STAY EMPLOYED. 4) Have a full-time symphony job.  Good luck with that, especially if you live in Louisville... 5) Be a musician in the military.  And before you argue that I left out pop musicians, most of them are not professional live performers.  Most of them make the bulk of their money in the recording studio and frankly, your chances of getting one of those gigs is like getting a symphony job, or being struck by lightning.

So #5 is the one I had an epiphany about today (while, not coincidentally, I was driving to my non-paid church gig...).  If the bulk of musicians were historically employed and provided for (in many cases, housing and meals plus a stipend) by the church, what does it say that the only stable, living wage, music performer gig in this country is in our military?  Are 3 and 4 star generals the only people who understand the value of live music? Because we have no state-mandated religion, as a society, we have no common ceremonies except those at sports events and military functions.  And no one complains that there isn't enough "crowd participation" at these ceremonies, because they understand that being part of the spectator group and actively appreciating things done by other people is also an important job.  But for some reason, in other parts of our lives, our expectations seem to be different.  Either we don't want to pay for it, or if we do pay for it, we expect the kind of performance that can only be done with the aid of computers and digital sound software.

I'm still not sure where I'm going with all this, maybe I'll continue in another post---it all still feels very nebulous, but I know I'm onto something that's been bugging me for a while, which is my perception of music being devalued as a profession....help me out.  Thoughts?
 

It IS a small world after all....

So this moring, I open up Facebook and am bombarded with status updates and posts about a shooting that happened about a mile from my home. What struck me was that the updates came from high school friends and also from music professionals I have only met recently.  The victim of the shooting, Brian Tierney, someone I went to high school with, was not someone I knew.  Based on the posts, though, I gather that he is an immensely talented musician, and was living a pretty normal life with his wife and child.  Not into drugs or anything else that would make him an obvious target for violent crime. 

My heart goes out to his family, whose stress and suffering I can't even imagine right now. Even the idea of my husband being shot and critically injured so close to home....there are no words. (And at one point when we were really desperate for jobs, one of the options was 'cell phone disruptor' for the active Army...you know, the guys who keep IEDs from being detonated? Yeah, in Afghanistan....thank GOD that didn't work out).

But this really brought to the forefront of my mind how interconnected the music world really is.  Especially in communities of specialized musicians.  I feel really lucky and blessed to know as many people as I do who excel at this abstract performance art called music.  Please pray for Brian and his family, and hug your own a little more tightly tonight.

Sailing

So when I was a kid, we didn't have a lot of money.  The railroad would occasionally have layoffs, and my dad always seemed to be at the bottom of the totem pole.  He worked for a variety of places during those times doing things like driving tow truck and doing regular car mechanic work to keep us in our home.  Mom, the budget queen, made sure that no matter how much money came in, we were always clothed and fed.  But because of that, we never went on any fancy vacations.  Just trips to visit relatives, which was always good enough for me (what can I say?  I have a fun family).  I can't count the number of times I went to the beach or up to Grandma and Grandpa Chiapuzio's place up the mountain, but I remember my first airplane trip was with my school choir to New York when I was 17.  The first time I'd been east of the Cascade mountain range, let alone the Rockies.

But something they did splurge on was a sailboat.  Before I was born, they bought a 24 foot racing yacht and had it moored in Newport, Oregon (that's at the ocean, for all you Midwest people).  A couple of my dad's younger brothers came out and sailed with them in Newport sometimes, and also when they kept it at Fern Ridge reservoir near Eugene.   When I was born, they still had it at Fern Ridge.  I don't remember much about that lake except that the caretakers of the park had a daughter close to my age and they had a hammock that we played in.  My mom says when I was Sam's age or so (3) I was reading the letters and numbers on the boats in each slip (the registration numbers), and wasn't looking where I was going.  Walked right off the end of the dock.  She pulled me out immediately (and I was of course, wearing a life vest) but I wonder sometimes if that's part of the reason I dislike ever having my head underwater.

Sam did the same thing the other day....looking at something and not watching where he was going....walked right into a telephone pole.  Well at least I know he's my kid, right? *sigh*

Anyway, just before my brother was born (I think?) Dad moved the boat from Fern Ridge to Dexter Lake up off of Highway 58, east of Eugene.  At this point, Dad actually let me start helping with stuff on the boat, although I was still really too young to help with much other than tie up lines and steer.  I spent a lot of time in the cabin instead.  Part of this was because the heeling of the boat freaked me out.  A LOT.  The other reason was because if I was out on the deck, I had to wear my lifejacket, which I hated.  Some kids camp with their families.  We camped out on the boat.  Another thing that freaked me out, because my "bunk" was near stowage spaces (yes that's spelled correctly) that were dark and musty so they must have monsters or spiders or I don't know.....I got over it when Lucas was little mostly because I didn't want HIM to have to sleep in the "scary" spot.  Too bad I didn't know at that point he wouldn't have cared. =P

Unfortunately, when we moved to Portland, Dad had to sell the boat.  One, river sailing can be a bit trickier than lake sailing (especially in the Columbia, lots of sandbars to get your keel hung up on), and the other, bigger, reason was because the cost of moorage in Portland was almost 3 times what they were paying in Eugene.  My college friends all know about my "study hammock" that I carried around with me  on nice days to hang from a tree and read in.  That was one of the storage hammocks from that boat.  The rocking motion was comforting to me (and still is.  I love me a comfy hammock).

So you wanna know why I'm writing all this down?

"Baker Street" by Gerry Rafferty came on the radio this evening.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2j7uAimpx3k

When that song comes on, I can hear it in my mind as it sounded coming from the little transistor radio we had on the boat (tuned to the pop music station...), and I can smell the foam and nylon of my lifejacket, the mustiness of the cushions and my coloring books, Mom's pancakes (waffles at home, pancakes on the boat), and see the look of the marina lights on the water at night.  I miss it more than I thought I did.

This week in numbers

I know I'm stealing this from someone (NPR?) But seeing as my brain hasn't been functioning on all cylinders lately, I can't remember who I'm stealing it from. Someone help me out so I can be copyright friendly. LOL

THIS WEEK IN NUMBERS:
2: average number of extra traffic light cycles I had to wait through because some jerk in front of me is playing on his/her phone at the stoplight.

10: kindergartner names I forgot.

20: times I sang the tune "Skip to my Lou" with modified alphabet lyrics.

5: average number of kids I sent to the end of the line in every class for talking when they lined up.

400: number of dollars I was able to put into savings on payday because of my newly increased paycheck.

6: pairs of poopy underwear changed and cleaned up.

200: miles I drove to get my hair done.

7: Christmas presents purchased.

4: strings of lights on the outside of the house.

3: the number of times I made it to the gym.

too many to count: kisses and raspberries from my son. =)