Toddler Vs. Dog

When Sam was a newborn and I was on maternity leave, I had a lot of time to think (usually while nursing or changing diapers) and I came up with a list of "why newborns are like a drunk person."  Thinks like "wake up in a different place than they fell asleep" and so on.  So, now, with five years of motherhood under my belt, I present you with:

Why Raising a Toddler is like Owning a Dog.
1. You have to keep the garbage hidden or locked up.

2. You find yourself saying "YOU POOPED ON THE CARPET AGAIN?!"

3. You spell words out loud like T-R-E-A-T or W-A-L-K or P-A-R-K

4. Everyone you meet (especially people without any of their own) is an expert on what you could try differently for behavior modification.

5. You recognize certain noises and whining to mean specific things, but none of them are actual words in any language.

6. The whining is usually the result of not spelling P-A-R-K or T-R-E-A-T

7. There is a race and wrestling match after every bath.

8.  You share table scraps and aim for the dish but don't always care if they eat off the floor.

9. It doesn't matter if you get the food in the dish, it's gonna end up on the floor.

10.  If you don't take it for a walk, it's going to bounce off the walls ALL NIGHT.