After watching lots of different children's shows I have some persistent questions:
1. Why does Caillou have no hair?
2. Why do the producers of "Barney" think that shouting the cadence point of a musical phrase makes the song more exciting? I NEED RESOLUTION TO THE MELODY PEOPLE!
3. And speaking of Barney, does he always have to be so damn cheerful? I don't know anyone in real life who is that happy ALL THE TIME (except one chick in college and she was kind of annoying....)
4. Are Bob and Wendy married? Dating? Or just running a business together? I'm confused about the nature of their relationship.
5. Lofty drives me crazy. It's ok to not be confident all the time, but would it be possible to show the kids that it's also ok to gain confidence and show growth?
6. I want to write songs for Dora and Diego. After all, I'd only be changing the words, right? That sounds like a cake gig, and I bet Nickelodeon pays well.
7. I find that I favor shows with more live musicians than synthesizers. Is this a product of my training or does it just really sound that much better?
8. Will Thomas ever stop being cheeky?
9. Will Gordon ever stop being grumpy?
10. Is Sir Topham Hatt an appointed official or elected? He seems to be a competent manager but you know what they say about absolute power....
Saturday, November 6, 2010
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Appreciation for the finer things.
With the immense amount of stress we've been under, it's really hard to recognize the lighter moments when they happen as opposed to after the fact. Like the sheer joy on a toddler's face while kicking a pile of leaves (or a mole hill). I've been trying to enjoy the time we have left in this house as much as possible. We went up to the Pomeroy Farm near Yacolt. Riding on the tractor pulled hay trailer while taking in the sunset over the Lewis River and against the backdrop of the evergreen covered hills was one of those moments I wanted to sear into my brain and remember forever.
Then there was the Longview Civil War football game last night. I joked with Tyson that I felt "fulfilled" as an educator, after being mobbed by about 20 kids. My current job (where I get a new group of kids every 6 weeks) has been harder on me than I thought it would be. There's not really any time to build those relationships, and I really miss it. Which was all the more reason it was so great to see former students----and make no mistake about it, I'm really proud of the fact that the band council members and the drum major at Mark Morris are all MY kids (and 6 girls on the cheerleading squad! HA!)
And speaking of former students, can I just say how old it makes me feel that a student I had as an 8th grader is now one of my choristers at the community college?
But if this job/house situation has taught me anything (if I didn't already know this, obviously God thought I needed a reminder) is that you won't miss those great moments if you live IN the moment. Like a kindergartner yelling at a kid across the room "DID YOU JUST FART??!"
Then there was the Longview Civil War football game last night. I joked with Tyson that I felt "fulfilled" as an educator, after being mobbed by about 20 kids. My current job (where I get a new group of kids every 6 weeks) has been harder on me than I thought it would be. There's not really any time to build those relationships, and I really miss it. Which was all the more reason it was so great to see former students----and make no mistake about it, I'm really proud of the fact that the band council members and the drum major at Mark Morris are all MY kids (and 6 girls on the cheerleading squad! HA!)
And speaking of former students, can I just say how old it makes me feel that a student I had as an 8th grader is now one of my choristers at the community college?
But if this job/house situation has taught me anything (if I didn't already know this, obviously God thought I needed a reminder) is that you won't miss those great moments if you live IN the moment. Like a kindergartner yelling at a kid across the room "DID YOU JUST FART??!"
Friday, October 1, 2010
Let the chaos begin!
If we're lucky, the timing might work out PERFECT. But really, everything in our lives is now at the mercy of Sgt. Recruiter and our mortgage company.
And here's a frustrating piece: Tyson leaving his current unit before his 6 year contract is up means we will have to pay back a portion of his signing bonus. And you may be asking yourself "why would you have to pay it back if he's staying in the Army?" Answer? National Guard = state pays you. Active duty Army = federal government pays you. As I've been learning, many Army rules and policies are a reaction to a prior problem. So my guess is that some states lost A LOT of money a while back on some soldiers leaving for active duty. Annoying? Yes. But at least they're consistent.
The other bad part is having to sell our house for a loss. But as our agent told us, the only way we'd make money on this place is if we paid it off, and THEN sold it. And even then we'd never probably get the amount we paid for it. The silver lining here is that this agent is a ROCK STAR and within 3 days of listing it, we were submitting one of TWO offers to the bank.
Sooooo....now we wait. Wait for the recruiter and our bank to tell us what the heck we do next. I feel like I've been doing well not freaking out and stressing about stuff. It's really out of our hands now so it's not really worth spending the energy on freaking out, I guess.
Wow I have a lot of packing to do.
And here's a frustrating piece: Tyson leaving his current unit before his 6 year contract is up means we will have to pay back a portion of his signing bonus. And you may be asking yourself "why would you have to pay it back if he's staying in the Army?" Answer? National Guard = state pays you. Active duty Army = federal government pays you. As I've been learning, many Army rules and policies are a reaction to a prior problem. So my guess is that some states lost A LOT of money a while back on some soldiers leaving for active duty. Annoying? Yes. But at least they're consistent.
The other bad part is having to sell our house for a loss. But as our agent told us, the only way we'd make money on this place is if we paid it off, and THEN sold it. And even then we'd never probably get the amount we paid for it. The silver lining here is that this agent is a ROCK STAR and within 3 days of listing it, we were submitting one of TWO offers to the bank.
Sooooo....now we wait. Wait for the recruiter and our bank to tell us what the heck we do next. I feel like I've been doing well not freaking out and stressing about stuff. It's really out of our hands now so it's not really worth spending the energy on freaking out, I guess.
Wow I have a lot of packing to do.
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Thinking about moving
When Tyson told me back in April that he needed to leave his current job, I agreed. The mistreatment he was suffering at the hands of his administrators was taking its toll on our relationship. I knew that regardless of what happened after, leaving was the right thing to do.
What I didn't fully understand and anticipate was the reality that if he wasn't able to find a teaching job it would become necessary to move. I guess I always assumed he (or I) would be able to find full time employment wherever we were. That seems to be not the case. In the 8 years I have known Tyson, we have been laid off a combined 3 times, from 3 different districts. Research be damned, people do NOT care if arts benefit their child's education if there's 40 kids in the math class.
Moving means selling our house at a loss. Moving means me leaving my job(s). Moving means packing, selling stuff we can't take with us, driving a U-Haul---with a toddler in it this time. Moving means deciding what possessions we are attached to, and what we are not (answer: photo albums and musical instruments are a necessity. Our dining table is not). Moving to or near an Army post means being neighbors with people who you can't really become close to because within 2 or 3 years, one or both of you will be moving. Again.
It took a lot of discussion before we came to the conclusion that leaving was better than one of us trying to find a job in a different field here. We're not sure why Tyson hasn't been able to find a better teaching job here, although we have our suspicions. The schools here have made it clear that they don't want him. Vancouver made his life miserable (and how that magically happened right after he joined the Army is a paperwork mystery....hmmmm....) and no other district seems to find him good enough to get past the final interview, even when he's one of two finalists. Whether that's because his Vancouver supervisor has blacklisted him, or because he keeps interviewing for jobs where they already have someone pre-selected (we know of at least 3 where that was the case) is irrelevant. He's not employed, and my job is not full time (thank you Longview for your support of arts education) so we must move.
The process begins. Anyone want to buy some high quality lawn tools and a couch?
What I didn't fully understand and anticipate was the reality that if he wasn't able to find a teaching job it would become necessary to move. I guess I always assumed he (or I) would be able to find full time employment wherever we were. That seems to be not the case. In the 8 years I have known Tyson, we have been laid off a combined 3 times, from 3 different districts. Research be damned, people do NOT care if arts benefit their child's education if there's 40 kids in the math class.
Moving means selling our house at a loss. Moving means me leaving my job(s). Moving means packing, selling stuff we can't take with us, driving a U-Haul---with a toddler in it this time. Moving means deciding what possessions we are attached to, and what we are not (answer: photo albums and musical instruments are a necessity. Our dining table is not). Moving to or near an Army post means being neighbors with people who you can't really become close to because within 2 or 3 years, one or both of you will be moving. Again.
It took a lot of discussion before we came to the conclusion that leaving was better than one of us trying to find a job in a different field here. We're not sure why Tyson hasn't been able to find a better teaching job here, although we have our suspicions. The schools here have made it clear that they don't want him. Vancouver made his life miserable (and how that magically happened right after he joined the Army is a paperwork mystery....hmmmm....) and no other district seems to find him good enough to get past the final interview, even when he's one of two finalists. Whether that's because his Vancouver supervisor has blacklisted him, or because he keeps interviewing for jobs where they already have someone pre-selected (we know of at least 3 where that was the case) is irrelevant. He's not employed, and my job is not full time (thank you Longview for your support of arts education) so we must move.
The process begins. Anyone want to buy some high quality lawn tools and a couch?
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Wanna know why there is high turnover in young teachers?
A.K.A. my problems with WA State Teacher Certification. My goal with this blog post is mostly to vent so when I do my final class this fall, I don't have to drink heavily to get through it, like I did with the initiating class ("pre-assessment seminar").
And before anyone gets on my case here, I do know there are some changes in the works, one of which will partially correct my #1 complaint (but I would have to almost start from scratch if I wait until those changes go through so it won't be fixed for me).
Complaint #1: The minimum of $3000 I will have spent for classes that are pretty much useless. The pre-assessment and culminating seminar run about $1500 a piece (the "bookend" classes). These classes teach me a) how to put together a portfolio and b)adjunct professors don't know the difference between MLA and APA formatting. Because I finished my masters at another school, I don't have to take any other classes, THANK GOD, but other people do, which means that teachers with less than 5-10 years experience (i.e. the lowest on the pay grid) are paying upwards of $5000 JUST TO KEEP THEIR JOB. Yes, you get credits which pushes you up the pay scale, but it would take almost 10 years to make back the money you paid. Your other option is to do the National Board Certificate, which also costs $3500 out of pocket, and you have no guarantee that you'll get it!
There is no other profession that pays you just above the poverty line, then expects you to pay out of pocket for college classes that are exactly the same information you JUST LEARNED to graduate with your B.A. which brings me to my next complaint....
Complaint #2: They do not require older teachers to re-certify. We all know teachers that are respirating in the classroom to pad their pensions, who reminisce of classroom management styles that utilize a paddle. The state also does not require that your portfolio be reviewed by someone who specializes in your subject area. This means that I, with a masters from Northwestern, a GREAT music school, am having my effectiveness measured by someone who potentially has never even been IN a music classroom, while there are people who can't even attach a file to their email allowed to continue teaching (at a much higher rate of pay, I might add).
So politicians want a quick-fix to ineffective teaching. But then they implement a system that only affects the newest teachers, meaning it will take THIRTY YEARS to see how this certification program really affects student learning. If you want to see real change, make it a blanket across-the-board requirement to re-certify as of your next license expiration date.
Complaint #3: If we have to do the stupid thing, could we at least make the information correct and/or relevant? I hate to be "THAT" person in the class, but when the instructor told us the state wants a certain kind of formatting (APA) then shows us an example that is clearly not that style, I had to speak up. Because I'm sure as hell not going to let my license lapse because some nimrod adjunct can't read a formatting manual. It would also be nice if we could cover some material that we didn't already do in our undergrad. See complaint #2. At one university which shall remain nameless (but has a Cougar for its mascot), there are actually new teachers who literally turn in THE SAME PAPERS AND PROJECTS THEY DID IN UNDERGRAD. How does that prove they are effective teachers? Also, what the HELL are we doing with a tri-fold posterboard? I'm not in 7th grade, thanks.
Complaint #4: You have to be employed to do the class. Who has to do this stupid re-certification process? New teachers. Who is most likely to be laid off during a budget crisis? New teachers. Can you do either the Pro-Cert program or the National Boards when you have no job? No. When I was laid off from Longview, the best response I got was "well, maybe you'll get a long-term sub position and you can get your evidence and documentation from that?" and that was from the state superintendent's office. I was also told I could not use documentation from college classes I was teaching. So basically, I could not get my license renewed, but I could teach college. WTF??! So what do we tell all these new teachers who had the misfortune of graduating during the biggest financial crisis since the Great Depression? Sucks to be you? Here's an extension? Hope your loans don't go into default before your license expires?
OK that's about all I have energy for. But I will say this....even with all these problems, I still would not choose to go through Oregon's certification process. =)
And before anyone gets on my case here, I do know there are some changes in the works, one of which will partially correct my #1 complaint (but I would have to almost start from scratch if I wait until those changes go through so it won't be fixed for me).
Complaint #1: The minimum of $3000 I will have spent for classes that are pretty much useless. The pre-assessment and culminating seminar run about $1500 a piece (the "bookend" classes). These classes teach me a) how to put together a portfolio and b)adjunct professors don't know the difference between MLA and APA formatting. Because I finished my masters at another school, I don't have to take any other classes, THANK GOD, but other people do, which means that teachers with less than 5-10 years experience (i.e. the lowest on the pay grid) are paying upwards of $5000 JUST TO KEEP THEIR JOB. Yes, you get credits which pushes you up the pay scale, but it would take almost 10 years to make back the money you paid. Your other option is to do the National Board Certificate, which also costs $3500 out of pocket, and you have no guarantee that you'll get it!
There is no other profession that pays you just above the poverty line, then expects you to pay out of pocket for college classes that are exactly the same information you JUST LEARNED to graduate with your B.A. which brings me to my next complaint....
Complaint #2: They do not require older teachers to re-certify. We all know teachers that are respirating in the classroom to pad their pensions, who reminisce of classroom management styles that utilize a paddle. The state also does not require that your portfolio be reviewed by someone who specializes in your subject area. This means that I, with a masters from Northwestern, a GREAT music school, am having my effectiveness measured by someone who potentially has never even been IN a music classroom, while there are people who can't even attach a file to their email allowed to continue teaching (at a much higher rate of pay, I might add).
So politicians want a quick-fix to ineffective teaching. But then they implement a system that only affects the newest teachers, meaning it will take THIRTY YEARS to see how this certification program really affects student learning. If you want to see real change, make it a blanket across-the-board requirement to re-certify as of your next license expiration date.
Complaint #3: If we have to do the stupid thing, could we at least make the information correct and/or relevant? I hate to be "THAT" person in the class, but when the instructor told us the state wants a certain kind of formatting (APA) then shows us an example that is clearly not that style, I had to speak up. Because I'm sure as hell not going to let my license lapse because some nimrod adjunct can't read a formatting manual. It would also be nice if we could cover some material that we didn't already do in our undergrad. See complaint #2. At one university which shall remain nameless (but has a Cougar for its mascot), there are actually new teachers who literally turn in THE SAME PAPERS AND PROJECTS THEY DID IN UNDERGRAD. How does that prove they are effective teachers? Also, what the HELL are we doing with a tri-fold posterboard? I'm not in 7th grade, thanks.
Complaint #4: You have to be employed to do the class. Who has to do this stupid re-certification process? New teachers. Who is most likely to be laid off during a budget crisis? New teachers. Can you do either the Pro-Cert program or the National Boards when you have no job? No. When I was laid off from Longview, the best response I got was "well, maybe you'll get a long-term sub position and you can get your evidence and documentation from that?" and that was from the state superintendent's office. I was also told I could not use documentation from college classes I was teaching. So basically, I could not get my license renewed, but I could teach college. WTF??! So what do we tell all these new teachers who had the misfortune of graduating during the biggest financial crisis since the Great Depression? Sucks to be you? Here's an extension? Hope your loans don't go into default before your license expires?
OK that's about all I have energy for. But I will say this....even with all these problems, I still would not choose to go through Oregon's certification process. =)
Saturday, July 3, 2010
What is WITH this weather???!
You know, I grew up in Oregon. Southern end of the Willamette Valley, even, where the clouds like to just hang out between mountain ranges and SIT THERE. I'm used to the gray, I'm used to allergies, I even know that the Native American name for that valley translates to something like "Valley of Sickness". I went to college in Seattle, another place where clouds like to hang out. You know, like ALL WINTER (October through April, for those of you not living here). I get it. It rains here. Duh. We're close to the ocean. But it's July and it's 55 degrees at 11 in the morning. This is RIDICULOUS. It rained for almost the entire month of May. We went halfway through June before we got our first day this year where it was over 80 degrees.
Some people believe that the week or so of nice weather we get in August makes up for the rest of the year (or those random sunny days we get between storms from June through September). But even when it's warm enough outside, you go to any river or lake and spend 5 minutes in that fresh snow melt (and yes, the snow in places is still melting in June and July), and you're too numb to swim. The damp, not-quite-cold-enough winters make for fantastic breeding grounds for mold, mildew, mosquitoes, and then it'll get just sunny enough for all the swamp weeds to produce copious amounts of pollen, then rain again.
I miss being in Chicago in the summer, where you can go out at 10 pm in July and not need a coat. I miss California (and I only spent one summer there!) where the 3 days of rain sent everyone into a frenzy, even though it was still 80 degrees out. Then we didn't see another cloud for 3 months. I would take that nasty sticky humidity any day over needing a sweatshirt in the middle of the day in July.
And yes, I realize I am complaining A LOT. It doesn't help that it's cloudy right now, and my garden is still struggling to grow, and I'm STILL catching huge amounts of slugs. It doesn't help that the stupid people who sold us this house painted it GRAY. It's depressing. But writing about it helps me get it out of my system so I can go out and enjoy the 5 minutes of sunshine we'll get today.
Some people believe that the week or so of nice weather we get in August makes up for the rest of the year (or those random sunny days we get between storms from June through September). But even when it's warm enough outside, you go to any river or lake and spend 5 minutes in that fresh snow melt (and yes, the snow in places is still melting in June and July), and you're too numb to swim. The damp, not-quite-cold-enough winters make for fantastic breeding grounds for mold, mildew, mosquitoes, and then it'll get just sunny enough for all the swamp weeds to produce copious amounts of pollen, then rain again.
I miss being in Chicago in the summer, where you can go out at 10 pm in July and not need a coat. I miss California (and I only spent one summer there!) where the 3 days of rain sent everyone into a frenzy, even though it was still 80 degrees out. Then we didn't see another cloud for 3 months. I would take that nasty sticky humidity any day over needing a sweatshirt in the middle of the day in July.
And yes, I realize I am complaining A LOT. It doesn't help that it's cloudy right now, and my garden is still struggling to grow, and I'm STILL catching huge amounts of slugs. It doesn't help that the stupid people who sold us this house painted it GRAY. It's depressing. But writing about it helps me get it out of my system so I can go out and enjoy the 5 minutes of sunshine we'll get today.
Saturday, June 19, 2010
random musings
God has never failed me....sometimes He lets me get real close to the brink, but always saves me from falling. Sometimes I wonder if He wants to make sure I'm not getting to overly confident in my own abilities (I'm sure you're all surprised that I could get overconfident...right?) =)
This time, it's about Tyson leaving his job. I am not worried like I think I should be, especially since music teaching jobs are not really abundant right now. But the dark cloud of misery and stress lifted from our house when Tyson made the decision that he could, under no circumstances, work for Vancouver even for one more year. The relief is so overwhelming I can't worry about what will happen, even if that means I go back to work full time somehow and he stays home/teaches private lessons.
A friend once told us that intelligent and talented people usually land on their feet. Since God gave us the intelligence and talent to work this out (and the skills to make money in multiple ways) I have to believe we will find SOMETHING that does not require us to sell our house at a loss, or for our family to live in separate homes (me living here, Tyson living somewhere else)
But all the same, prayers for opportunity would be appreciated. =)
This time, it's about Tyson leaving his job. I am not worried like I think I should be, especially since music teaching jobs are not really abundant right now. But the dark cloud of misery and stress lifted from our house when Tyson made the decision that he could, under no circumstances, work for Vancouver even for one more year. The relief is so overwhelming I can't worry about what will happen, even if that means I go back to work full time somehow and he stays home/teaches private lessons.
A friend once told us that intelligent and talented people usually land on their feet. Since God gave us the intelligence and talent to work this out (and the skills to make money in multiple ways) I have to believe we will find SOMETHING that does not require us to sell our house at a loss, or for our family to live in separate homes (me living here, Tyson living somewhere else)
But all the same, prayers for opportunity would be appreciated. =)
Monday, June 14, 2010
Realistic children's toys
So Sam has this whale bath toy that is also a shape sorter. And being the random person that I am, started wondering how frustrating that toy would be if the shapes could only be taken out of the whale every three days (a la Jonah of the Old Testament)?
Then, of course, I started thinking about other children's toys that could be made very realistic, totally inappropriate, but more realistic. Like that scene in Fight Club where they talk about how calm the cartoon people on the emergency card are (:30-:60 on the clip I linked)
So starting with the Jonah shape-sorter, here are some other ideas I had for "more realistic" children's toys. As far as toys about Biblical stories go, maybe people wouldn't grow up thinking they're fairy tales and myths if the way we told the story was more accurate.
Noah's Ark: Complete with a cacophony of sounds that you can't turn off, even if you remove the batteries. Also comes with a supply of animal crap, hay, and cattle brands.
Police car shaped scooter: Comes with radar gun and a list of common speeding excuses. The Portland, Oregon version is already egged, and has a list of anarchist-owned businesses you are not allowed to enter.
Big Construction related toys (dump truck, etc.): are all the same. The little plastic driver inside simply says "F***" every time you touch it.
Speed Boat: This one works exactly like the one you had as a kid, except it costs you $5000 every time you take it out to play with it.
Then, of course, I started thinking about other children's toys that could be made very realistic, totally inappropriate, but more realistic. Like that scene in Fight Club where they talk about how calm the cartoon people on the emergency card are (:30-:60 on the clip I linked)
So starting with the Jonah shape-sorter, here are some other ideas I had for "more realistic" children's toys. As far as toys about Biblical stories go, maybe people wouldn't grow up thinking they're fairy tales and myths if the way we told the story was more accurate.
Noah's Ark: Complete with a cacophony of sounds that you can't turn off, even if you remove the batteries. Also comes with a supply of animal crap, hay, and cattle brands.
Police car shaped scooter: Comes with radar gun and a list of common speeding excuses. The Portland, Oregon version is already egged, and has a list of anarchist-owned businesses you are not allowed to enter.
Big Construction related toys (dump truck, etc.): are all the same. The little plastic driver inside simply says "F***" every time you touch it.
Speed Boat: This one works exactly like the one you had as a kid, except it costs you $5000 every time you take it out to play with it.
Sunday, June 13, 2010
The sun came out! FINALLY!
You can always tell when there's been a long rainy spell in the Pacific Northwest because everyone comes out of their caves...er...houses...and tries to do EVERY outdoor activity possible in one day because NO ONE KNOWS how long the sunshine will last! Many of my Facebook friends who live locally have sunburns because it's been so dang long since we NEEDED sunscreen we forgot we owned any!! I say "we" because I'm sporting a nice red patch on my back where I missed with the sunscreen (after diligently applying it to every exposed part of Sam) and then went on a bike ride. Washing your hair in the shower while facing the showerhead? Not so easy, unless you like soap in your eyes.
I managed to get many chores done in the yard, and a couple inside the house, too! Luckily, the garden was not completely destroyed by all the rain, but we shall see how it does this week with all the sunshine. Sam really enjoyed being outside all day, but I don't think he likes that I have the backyard totally blocked from the front to prevent escape. He keeps heading for the compost pile and the blackberries behind the house, instead, and gets mad when I redirect him (too bad for him, I say). I'm not digging this toddler-ear-splitting-squeal-of-anger though....speaking of that squeal...I'm sensing bedtime....Right. About..........Now.
I managed to get many chores done in the yard, and a couple inside the house, too! Luckily, the garden was not completely destroyed by all the rain, but we shall see how it does this week with all the sunshine. Sam really enjoyed being outside all day, but I don't think he likes that I have the backyard totally blocked from the front to prevent escape. He keeps heading for the compost pile and the blackberries behind the house, instead, and gets mad when I redirect him (too bad for him, I say). I'm not digging this toddler-ear-splitting-squeal-of-anger though....speaking of that squeal...I'm sensing bedtime....Right. About..........Now.
Friday, June 4, 2010
Raising a toddler is like herding cats.
More accurately, having a toddler is a lot like having a dog. Two Facebook layout re-dos ago, I posted something on my status (or a note? I forget....) about how infants are like drunk people.
Why a newborn is like a drunk person....
1. They drink until they throw up.
2. They don't care who they throw up on.
3.They wet themselves.
4. They can't hold their head up straight.
5.They fall asleep in weird positions and in even weirder places.
6. Sometimes, they whine or laugh for no obvious reason.
7. It is often hard to wake them up after they have passed out from drinking.
8.You can't understand what they say.
9.You can't take them to classy upscale restaurants without annoying people.
AND
10. They are always reaching for boobs.
A friend added "they never wake up in the same place they fell asleep"
So now, we have...... HOW A TODDLER IS LIKE A DOG!!
1. They like to dig in the garbage.
2. They like to stick limbs or other body parts in toilet water.
3. If it is food, it is edible, even if it's been on the floor.
4. There are leashes involved.
5. When on walks, there is pulling involved because EXPLORING IS NECESSARY.
6. People give you THE LOOK when you come into a restaurant.
7. You know when they are pooping, and you dread cleaning it up.
8. You have to teach them when and where to pee.
9. Putting cute clothes on them gets an "awwwww" from most people.
10. You constantly find things that were buried or hidden.
Why a newborn is like a drunk person....
1. They drink until they throw up.
2. They don't care who they throw up on.
3.They wet themselves.
4. They can't hold their head up straight.
5.They fall asleep in weird positions and in even weirder places.
6. Sometimes, they whine or laugh for no obvious reason.
7. It is often hard to wake them up after they have passed out from drinking.
8.You can't understand what they say.
9.You can't take them to classy upscale restaurants without annoying people.
AND
10. They are always reaching for boobs.
A friend added "they never wake up in the same place they fell asleep"
So now, we have......
1. They like to dig in the garbage.
2. They like to stick limbs or other body parts in toilet water.
3. If it is food, it is edible, even if it's been on the floor.
4. There are leashes involved.
5. When on walks, there is pulling involved because EXPLORING IS NECESSARY.
6. People give you THE LOOK when you come into a restaurant.
7. You know when they are pooping, and you dread cleaning it up.
8. You have to teach them when and where to pee.
9. Putting cute clothes on them gets an "awwwww" from most people.
10. You constantly find things that were buried or hidden.
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